4 Steps to Choose the Perfect Role Play Costume

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Using role play in the bedroom is about much more than indulging your long-held and unspoken fantasy about that traffic warden who once fined you.

By adopting a different persona, many people find it easier to open up and explore situations and practice that they would never normally broach, allowing them to experience greater fulfillment and also bringing them closer to their partner.

But how do you get into it without feeling a little silly? This is where sexy role play comes in. Read on for everything you need to know to try it—without feeling (too) ridiculous.

Figure out what you want to role play

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Is there a fantasy you’ve always had or a type of romance/erotica/fanfic/porn you find yourself drawn to? Start with that!

Brainstorm solo or with your partner, make a list of ideas that sound fun and pleasurable, and that you’re willing to do. A scene may sound great in theory but you don’t actually want to try it.

Something as simple as popping on a wig or a new item of clothing, going to a bar with your lover and pretending to be strangers exchanging lingering glances across the room will bring back that excitement without taking you too far out of your comfort zone.

Consider as well the power dynamic that you're after. If you fancy the idea of your lover coming over all bossy and telling you what to do, role play situations that cast you as the submissive party are ideal (think secretary and boss, doctor/nurse and patient, or even master/mistress and slave). Fancy being in charge? Just flip the roles.

Here are some popular scenes to get you started:

  • Teacher/student
  • Boss/worker
  • Doctor/patient
  • Athlete/cheerleader
  • Personal trainer/client
  • Delivery person/homeowner
  • Strangers

Talk with your partner, tell him/her what you want

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Once you know what you want, it's time to discuss it. Explain exactly what you want to happen in your fantasy. If they know exactly what you're after, it becomes easier to improvise around the 'plot' rather than just winging it, which could lead to both of you feeling uncomfortable as well as not fulfilling your desires.

If you're worried that they may feel a little slighted by your fantasy, and suddenly believe that you're lusting after every police officer you see, try framing it in the context of a dream that places them in the role you want.

It's also important at this stage to set your boundaries. Discuss with them what you are and aren't comfortable with them doing or saying. If you're involving any sort of bondage in your play, remember to set a safe word so that your partner knows exactly when you want them to stop.

Explain exactly what you want to happen in your fantasy. If they know exactly what you're after, it becomes easier to improvise around the 'plot' rather than just winging it, which could lead to both of you feeling uncomfortable as well as not fulfilling your desires.

If you're worried that they may feel a little slighted by your fantasy, and suddenly believe that you're lusting after every police officer you see, try framing it in the context of a dream that places them in the role you want.

Once you share, ask them what they think and if there are any scenarios they’ve ever thought about. Remember to respond with the same gentleness you want after sharing your fantasies.

Plan the details

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Once you and your partner decide on a scene, figure out your next steps. Do you need costumes or props? When do you want it to happen? Where?

In our Sexy Lingerie - Costume category, we've got a whole host of uniforms, outfits, and accessories to choose from, whether you're looking for a skimpy schoolgirl set or fancy French maid affair.

If you're a little nervous about dressing up, there's no need for you to go all out first time around: just add some small accessories, such as a stethoscope, or a hat, to set the scene.

As with choosing any clothing, it's important to pick styles that you'll be comfortable in. Take into consideration your body shape and look for styles that are similar to things you already wear, as this will help you feel most confident during your play.

If you're looking to disguise your hips and bottom, a flared skirt is a fabulously flattering choice; if you're arm-conscious, look for costumes with sleeves. Costumes with cut-outs are great for highlighting a slim waist, while those who want to show off their cleavage should look for plunging necklines or front zip details.

Enjoy your sexy role play

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Once you’ve sorted the details, it’s time to get your role play on! Here are some tips for making it a success:

  • Be a tease, instead of going straight into the sex
  • Laugh it off
  • Incorporate your nerves and awkwardness
  • It’s OK to break character. This is supposed to be fun
  • Try, try again
  • Have fun

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